Before meeting my current boyfriend, I have been on a ton of dates! It was at a point that I was going on a date basically every weekend the year before I met my new boyfriend. Dating was a new scene for me when I started getting back into the swing of things.
My last relationship was someone I met in high school, dating back then was more innocent, fun, and playful. You know the feeling, walking down the hallways holding hands and everyone is staring at you. Whether you admit it or not, you basically were showing off. Dating in college, is just a whirlwind of over analyzing, no trust, and constant worry. It is scary and I don’t blame anyone who doesn’t want to be tied down when attending college. I have had my fair share of casual outings, small lunch dates, to hook ups. I feel I have experienced the generation of this new dating. This new dating era, is silent just an endless of dead silence.
Communication, is key in every situation, I am ashamed to say that in a world where my generation is considered the smartest, because of the advancement of technology, we are also considered the generation with a lack of social skills. Dating has become that way too.
Talking over the phone has become such a fear, that to me it is unacceptable. This might be old fashion, but if you are a man and you like a woman you should call her. Calling shows her that you want to invest the time with her and that you care. I don’t care what anyone says, but texting is the not the same as calling. Texting creates a lot of misunderstood messages, and kissy and winky faces should not be the equivalent of words that I think anyone would rather hear.
I remember I would ask guys to call and how awkward they would feel because I asked. I guess it is hard being in college, because guys are not looking to settle down with someone they just want to have fun, as women do also. Sex is given way to easily now I believe, which confuses both parties. Men use love to get sex, and women use sex to get love. It is true. Men know that women want to find love and they will find ways to manipulate that idea to get their “7 minutes… or less in heaven” and women know that men want sex and feel that it is going to lead them to love.
Not saying that it doesn’t, because I know a few relationships that are still going strong and sex was the first thing, before a relationship. As humans we all have needs, we all look for a companion even just for a night, because we are a social species, we are programmed to interact with each other, so it is not a surprise that sometimes we get lonely. Believe me, that one hot steamy night, is definitely okay once and awhile.
As young adults we cannot be roaming the earth like this forever. There needs to come a point in time when we need to get ourselves in check. Finding love is hard enough, finding a boyfriend/girlfriend is I think, the hardest part of it all. I believe it is because, we just don’t care anymore. We don’t care who we hurt, we don’t care who we sleep with, we don’t care about traditional ideas, it is just a big pile of No F**** given!
No matter how much you text a person, it comes down to the effort! When a woman or man shows effort it gives the person they are seeing a positive feeling and reassurance. We play so many head games with each other, no wonder why we all develop so many trust issues men and women alike, because we just want to get what we want and that is it. How about this? let’s treat people respectfully. Let us treat people like beings and acknowledge that they exist. Awkward conversations and ignoring happens way to often.
I also feel it is the way of thinking of men and women. Men, do not think that every women wants to have sex with you, just because we are being nice and maybe a little flirtatious, they are not signs of ” I am going home with you tonight” Women, do not think men want you either, just because he is texting you or talking to you doesn’t mean he wants a relationship or that he really likes you, women need to stop assuming that so we can stop being so nervous around men. Let us just be cool with each other, go to the bar have a drink, laugh, be happy, make good conversation and just take it from there. One easy step at a time. I honestly, would not mind going back to high school, so dating can just be simple again.