Distance

Distance, has become my best friend and enemy. Distance is a bittersweet relationship and definitely one you do not need to put any work towards, it is a relationship you just dive right in and see what happens.

Distance has created the best memories and also the worst. Being away from family and friends for the first time, has put a toll on family conversations, keeping up with friends, and now a new developing relationship.

Distance has given me the freedom I needed for a long time. Finally, being able to make my own choices and feeling like I can rely on myself. Distance also creates loneliness, and soon you might pile up a list of things you might regret and many nights waking up in empty beds and awkward looks in the dining hall.

What is really happening? Distance turned to loneliness, and loneliness turned to wild nights, wild nights turned into cold beds.

Distance does not just become a enemy of your current relationships, but also within ourselves and what I believe shows, how we constantly need to be reminded how we want to feel needed and special.

The new relationship is in distance due to being hours away from each other, but distance is also missing the touches, the intimacy, the smiles and laughs. Life is already going to fast to miss more opportunities of small joys like that.

Distance creates fondness and a strong bond. It gives you excitement when you haven’t seen that face you have been wanting to see. When you feel you were only able to see that face in your dreams, and now it is right in front of you.

Distance can get the best of anybody. Distance is not a weakness, it is an experience we have all done and shared. The difficulties behind distance, are broad that it seems to be one of those things, that we can all understand, but can only explain in so many words.

Distance, is a big monster to tackle, and for those going away for the first time. I am now a senior with 7 weeks left until I graduate. Embrace, your changes and when distance gets hard, always remember who can be on the other end of line.

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What today taught me

As I sat in class, I realized how much time has passed by. I am senior in college, and I plan on graduating in the fall. Today, showed me how much I still need to learn and experience to be ready for the “real world”

The “real world” scares me, it haunts me, and teases me. No matter how much I feel I am ready to graduate, I feel I would never be ready for what the future holds. It scares me knowing that I could fail, it scares me that after a hard four years I might not get a career that I am working hard for.

My family and friends say, just focus on the present. If you focus on what is in front of you now then the big things will happen for you. I feel that is just me personally, I always focus on the future, I always think of things before, decisions are even made. I look at all aspects of a situation and figure out all outcomes. I don’t know why I do, I have been doing that since I could remember.

I sometimes drive myself crazy, but is it wrong to worry? Graduating in the fall, is a challenge. You feel that you need to soak everything in, trying to fit all those “last first times” keeping up with your friends, and staying on top of your school work. You want to experience as much as you can, because college is the glory days of having fun and feeling young forever.

Taking my law exam and ending the day with a poor grade. I find myself thinking, am I truly ready? Maybe, it is just the first weeks of the semester just piling up, but I have nothing to fall back on.

That is what’s scary. You have nothing to fall back on, you only have yourself and it is up to you, to figure out your path. Since kindergarten, school is all we know and now you are transitioning into a phase where you have no safety net.

What I learned today, is to keep working hard, and turning the negative thoughts into positive ones, so that can be the catalyst in myself and hopefully a bright future.