Next step: Meet the parents

Being in a new relationship there is a fun and innocent side when starting out, but once you start spending more time with this person, you become invested in them and they become a bigger part in the picture. Meeting the parents is a step that all couples take eventually. When you allow your significant other meet your parents, it is a sign of taking the person you are with serious and that you are deepening your relationship.

Parents are tricky. I have always been nervous when meeting parents, but nervous is a good thing because it shows that you are taking the meeting seriously. Everyone wants to be liked, but if you are not liked by your partner’s parents that calls for some rough storms ahead.

You always need to remember that parents always want what is best for their kids. Even if the relationship between the parents and you start off rocky, they will always lighten up. Have the patience and try to get to know them too. Taking communication classes believe me, people love talking about themselves because people like to feel important.

Dating is simple, but adding elements like family starts to make it complex. Complex is good, because it challenges your partner and you. Life is not perfect, but it will still go on and just got to roll with what is coming at you.

I am nervous and scared meeting my boyfriend’s parents. They are a traditional family and I am afraid of saying the wrong thing or making them feel uncomfortable.

The fear is not pleasing them, but remember you are dating your partner not their parents. All you can do is be yourself and being yourself is enough.

In my personal opinion, I think that if you are truly happy with the person you are with. That they do not harm you in anyway shape or form. Parents will always want to see their child happy.

To those who are also in the next step, good luck and hopefully the first meeting will go smoothly!

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he said “I spoke to much”

My boyfriend and I recently had the famous conversation of recalling our first date. The awkwardness of meeting someone you never met before and the things you do that never seem to be a problem, until you reflect back on the situation.

I know, that when I get nervous I speak fast and I never seem to stop lol and my boyfriend caught onto to that too. In his words “I spoke to much” but, I guess it wasn’t a problem since we obviously went on more dates.

Until I found out, it kinda was. He said I spoke to much about other things, like school and my sorority. I gave him a look like, “well I didn’t know what to talk about.” and he responded, “Well, I wish you spoke more about yourself.”

There was no hard feelings to this conversation, It made me curious, I thought I was open, I thought I was giving him a fun inside look into what life was about.

In time we both started discovering things about each other and things are alright and we are together. It takes time to open up, but how do you? What do you talk about on a first date? Should you just talk about the normal things? or should it be a life story?

I always get confused on what should be talked about on a first date. If you talk to much about yourself, you come off as conceded, if you talk about other things in your life you might not be open enough. So what do you think? How do you balance both sides of yourself?

Distance

Distance, has become my best friend and enemy. Distance is a bittersweet relationship and definitely one you do not need to put any work towards, it is a relationship you just dive right in and see what happens.

Distance has created the best memories and also the worst. Being away from family and friends for the first time, has put a toll on family conversations, keeping up with friends, and now a new developing relationship.

Distance has given me the freedom I needed for a long time. Finally, being able to make my own choices and feeling like I can rely on myself. Distance also creates loneliness, and soon you might pile up a list of things you might regret and many nights waking up in empty beds and awkward looks in the dining hall.

What is really happening? Distance turned to loneliness, and loneliness turned to wild nights, wild nights turned into cold beds.

Distance does not just become a enemy of your current relationships, but also within ourselves and what I believe shows, how we constantly need to be reminded how we want to feel needed and special.

The new relationship is in distance due to being hours away from each other, but distance is also missing the touches, the intimacy, the smiles and laughs. Life is already going to fast to miss more opportunities of small joys like that.

Distance creates fondness and a strong bond. It gives you excitement when you haven’t seen that face you have been wanting to see. When you feel you were only able to see that face in your dreams, and now it is right in front of you.

Distance can get the best of anybody. Distance is not a weakness, it is an experience we have all done and shared. The difficulties behind distance, are broad that it seems to be one of those things, that we can all understand, but can only explain in so many words.

Distance, is a big monster to tackle, and for those going away for the first time. I am now a senior with 7 weeks left until I graduate. Embrace, your changes and when distance gets hard, always remember who can be on the other end of line.

#newgenerationproblems

Before meeting my current boyfriend, I have been on a ton of dates! It was at a point that I was going on a date basically every weekend the year before I met my new boyfriend. Dating was a new scene for me when I started getting back into the swing of things. 

My last relationship was someone I met in high school, dating back then was more innocent, fun, and playful. You know the feeling, walking down the hallways holding hands and everyone is staring at you. Whether you admit it or not, you basically were showing off. Dating in college, is just a whirlwind of over analyzing, no trust, and constant worry. It is scary and I don’t blame anyone who doesn’t want to be tied down when attending college. I have had my fair share of casual outings, small lunch dates, to hook ups. I feel I have experienced the generation of this new dating. This new dating era, is silent just an endless of dead silence.

Communication, is key in every situation, I am ashamed to say that in a world where my generation is considered the smartest, because of the advancement of technology, we are also considered the generation with a lack of social skills. Dating has become that way too.

Talking over the phone has become such a fear, that to me it is unacceptable. This might be old fashion, but if you are a man and you like a woman you should call her. Calling shows her that you want to invest the time with her and that you care. I don’t care what anyone says, but texting is the not the same as calling. Texting creates a lot of misunderstood messages, and kissy and winky faces should not be the equivalent of words that I think anyone would rather hear.

I remember I would ask guys to call and how awkward they would feel because I asked. I guess it is hard being in college, because guys are not looking to settle down with someone they just want to have fun, as women do also. Sex is given way to easily now I believe, which confuses both parties. Men use love to get sex, and women use sex to get love. It is true. Men know that women want to find love and they will find ways to manipulate that idea to get their “7 minutes… or less in heaven” and women know that men want sex and feel that it is going to lead them to love. 

Not saying that it doesn’t, because I know a few relationships that are still going strong and sex was the first thing, before a relationship. As humans we all have needs, we all look for a companion even just for a night, because we are a social species, we are programmed to interact with each other, so it is not a surprise that sometimes we get lonely. Believe me, that one hot steamy night, is definitely okay once and awhile. 

As young adults we cannot be roaming the earth like this forever. There needs to come a point in time when we need to get ourselves in check. Finding love is hard enough, finding a boyfriend/girlfriend is I think, the hardest part of it all. I believe it is because, we just don’t care anymore. We don’t care who we hurt, we don’t care who we sleep with, we don’t care about traditional ideas, it is just a big pile of No F**** given! 

No matter how much you text a person, it comes down to the effort! When a woman or man shows effort it gives the person they are seeing a positive feeling and reassurance. We play so many head games with each other, no wonder why we all develop so many trust issues men and women alike, because we just want to get what we want and that is it. How about this? let’s treat people respectfully. Let us treat people like beings and acknowledge that they exist. Awkward conversations and ignoring happens way to often. 

I also feel it is the way of thinking of men and women. Men, do not think that every women wants to have sex with you, just because we are being nice and maybe a little flirtatious, they are not signs of ” I am going home with you tonight” Women, do not think men want you either, just because he is texting you or talking to you doesn’t mean he wants a relationship or that he really likes you, women need to stop assuming that so we can stop being so nervous around men. Let us just be cool with each other, go to the bar have a drink, laugh, be happy, make good conversation and just take it from there. One easy step at a time. I honestly, would not mind going back to high school, so dating can just be simple again.